Human Male Monk




Some people don’t like me. Well.. okay a lot of people don’t like me. I tend to end up in situations that may not be so desirable. Take my studies at the Monastery for example. One day I decided that everyone was too damn serious there, so I pulled a joke on the Grand Master. It was perfect! I found this potion at a local market that would make a person dance around like they were drunk and scream out nonsensical gibberish while they were doing it. There happened to be a big dinner with all of the monks and their masters that evening. Heh, what could possibly go wrong?

So when no one was looking, I tumbled over the other side of the table and while doing it, I poured the potion into the Grand Master’s drink. I made it look like I fell so no one suspected me. Oh.. and then the fun began. The Grand Master stood up like a rail and said: “WHAT IS THIS GARDEN DOING IN MY TOILET?!” and started dancing around like a zombie. During all the commotion, all of the other monks were scampering about trying to figure out what to do, while I had fallen out of my chair almost suffocating myself from laughter. What a great way to lighten up the mood. Well.. I thought it was a great thing to do anyway.

You may have heard that a lot of monks don’t leave their Monasteries in their lifetime. Guess who got to leave? Unfortunately, no one else in the room seemed to share what I thought was a genius plan for simply having some fun. While the Grand Master was running on the sides of the walls screaming: “YOU CAN’T CATCH ME FOUL PIXIES!” to the monks trying to restrain him, the second-in-command monk cheerfully told me that I was banned from ever coming back to the Monastery again. Me being a little disappointed, I packed what little things I had and started heading for the nearest village. At least I had my basic training and could learn on my own without hitting any ‘brick walls’ in my training.

Speaking of my training; that would be the second reason that people seemed to hate me. I.. seem to catch on to things quickly. I may not have had the best work ethic, but I always seemed to beat the Mr. Know-it-alls in sparring. Why? I just get it. They don’t seem to and that makes them jealous. So that’s where the bullying and name calling came in. I never really paid too much attention to it, but they did get the itching powder in their robes one day. I wonder who did that… Hah.

It’s kind of impossible to be the class clown in a Monastery, so I wasn’t all that surprised when they kicked me out. But whatever. I know my heart is in the right place, and in my own way I want to do some good for this world. Hopefully I can find a group of somewhat like-minded adventurers to go get myself killed with…


Pathfinder Campaign saizonic